Sometimes when I am bored, I fill out applications for jobs.. I kind of Mad-lib them. Just for Laughs. Folks, I do not send out these applications.. I just fill these out as a joke to kill time in my otherwise miserable life. Plus I do not answer them the same the second time, so I am just compiling the best answers in my collection of 10 + applications. So let's begin!
"Expected salary" ONE BILLION DOLLARS!
"Why would you like to work for (insert company name here)?" To make bank and get the bitches.
"Describe a time you have provided excellent customer service. Why was the customer "WOWED" When I offered a kid the movie Brink on VHS.
"What are your Personal and Career Goals?" To get laid by age 19, to go to juinor college, and work at a shitty cubicle job till the day I die.
"Are you presently employed?" Yeah, to my couch. "If so, may we inquire of your Present Employer?" Couches do not answer phones.
"Have you ever been convicted of a felony?" Yes. "If so, please explain." I was caught jacking it in San Diego.
"Name of High School." Ridgemont High. "How many years?" For about 25 + years, I am hanging out with Jeff Spicoli.
"Name Of College" Faber College. "How many years?" Less than a year, got kicked out of school for having too many ragers and screwing the dean's wife.
"Any former employers?" I was part of the blues brothers, my boss(s) were Jake and Elwood Blues, I played the french horn. They called me "Mr. Fabulous"
If anyone enjoyed this, please tell me and I might fill out more joke applications in the future. Till then, bye!
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